my entire sunday was spent downloading music and putting onto le phone.
now i have the joy of the greys anatomy soundtrack in the palm of my hand











...or my pocket. you know. which ever

i find it so amazing that i can hear that someone tricked me into being their friend again
by lieing about their sexual relationship with my exboyfriend, and im actually okay...want to shoot a bitch,...but am okay.

im kind of sick of this whole thing really..
but tell me, if you were to pick sides, and you had to choose between someone who cant keep their legs closed and is sleeping with one of their best friends exboyfriend(in which they dated for about 3 years, and had only broken up a few weeks prior)
and someone who is only guilty of trying to move on after a ridiculous relationship...who would you choose sides with..

im sorry if this sounds childish, but i really just want to kick some people's asses.

so i guess im really single now.

jory said that he really doesnt give a shit about me.
and he lied about wanting to be friends.

so first he drags me from his truck(unintentionally but still) then acts like he didnt do anything wrong.

he says that he is just living his life right now.

i know that if he is acting this way i shouldnt want anything to do with him, but its really hard to go from being with someone for 2 and a half years, to being completely out of their life. i still care about him, and he said that he still cared about me, then turns around and says that he doesnt give a fuck about me.
something just kind of died inside.
i am so unbelievably hurt right now. he was my family.
now hes not talking to me, and wont fucking see me for my 18th birthday.
im just so used to being with him. im used to being fucking happy. now nothing will make me happy.
he even still has shit of mine.
he still fucking has a key to my house. i still have a key to his house. i still have clothes of his, and he has some of my shit.

i dont know what to do with myself.
before, i was hoping this was some joke and he would surprise me on my birthday or something. now i dont know what the fuck is going on. but i dont think hes stupid enough to pull something that mean.
everything weve been through together. he doesnt fucking care.
doesnt care about the shit that ive been through. doesnt give a fuck that he ruined my relationship with my mother. she doesnt fucking trust me anymore because of what he said to her.

if he really just wanted to be alone and single for a while, as much as that hurts too, he could have just dont that. but now hes made it really personal.
he went where he shouldnt have.

i cant fucking stand where my life is going.
i dont want to be here anymore.
i havnt gotten to get out of town all summer.
and school is starting so early this year.
i need to get away.
i want to run away so bad.

someone please get me out of here.

my birthday is in a couple of weeks.

the party is on the 4th of july, at my house.
if youd like to come, comment and let me know.

if you cant make it for the 4th and youd like to come on the 8th or sometime that weekend, we're going out for my actual birthday.
let me know if you can come to either one or both.

we need a head count for the 4th and i dont really want to go on the 8th if noone is coming.
please come.
if you want to get me a gift,.... then thats nice of you.
i dont really have a preference of what i want except for clothes.
so you can take me shopping if you like.
=)